Measuring Six Basic Styles of Love

Listed below are sample items from Hendrick and Hendrick's love scale, which was designed to measure the six styles of love identified by Lee (1977, 1988). Read through the various items and think about your current or past relationships. Which style or styles characterize each of these relationships. According to Lee, people could experience many different styles of love during their lives.

Eros

Pluto, Leo

Mars, Fire Element;

1. My lover and I were attracted to each other immediately after we first met.
2. Our lovemaking is very intense and satisfying.
3. My lover fits my ideal standards of physical beauty/handsomeness.

Ludus

Jupiter, Fire

Mercury, Gemini;
1. I try to keep my lover a little uncertain about my commitment to him/her.
2. I have sometimes had to keep two of my lovers from finding out about each other.
3. I enjoy playing the "game of love' with a number of different partners.

Storge

Aquarius;

Uranus, Air Element

1. It is hard to say exactly when my lover and I fell in love. (Our friendship merged gradually into love over time.)
2. Love is really a deep friendship, not a mysterious, mystical emotion.
3. My most satisfying love relationships have developed from good friendships.

Pragma

Earth Element

Saturn;

1. I consider what a person is going to become in life before I commit myself to him/her.
2. I try to plan my life carefully before choosing a lover.
3. A main consideration in choosing a lover is how he/she reflects on my family.

Mania

Fire, Uranus;

Pluto

1. Sometimes I get so excited about being in love that I can't sleep.
2. When I am in love, I have trouble concentrating on anything else.
3. If my lover ignores me for a while, I sometimes do stupid things to get his/her attention back.

Agape

Water, Neptune;

Fire

1. I would rather suffer myself than let my lover suffer.
2. I cannot be happy unless I place my lover's happiness before my own.
3. I would endure all things for the sake of my lover.

Source: Adapted from C. Hendrick & S. Hendrick, 1986.
Astrological Correlations: Edmond H. Wollmann

Also there are love types, which can be correlated as well;

Love as a Triangle (Sternberg 1988) conceives of different kinds of love being a Intimacy combination of the three basic (liking)components of intimacy, passion, and commitment.
Romantic Companionate love (intimacy + G / + commitment)
Passion Commitment (infatuation)(empty love)
Fatuous love (passion +commitment)

A TRIANGULAR THEORY OF LOVE

Robert Sternberg ( 1986, 1988) has proposed that love can be thought of as a triangle, with its three corners consisting of the three components of passion, intimacy, and commitment According to Sternberg, all kinds of love are made up of different combinations and proportions of these components:

Liking: the experience of intimacy without passion and commitment (e.g., friendship)

Infatuated love: the experience of passion without intimacy and commitment (e.g., "puppy love")

Empty love: the experience of commitment without passion and intimacy (e.g., stagnant marriages)

Romantic love: the experience of passion and intimacy without commitment (e.g., extramarital affairs)

Companionate love: the experience of intimacy and commitment without passion (e.g., many long-term, happy marriages)

Fatuous love: the experience of passion plus commitment without intimacy (e.g., love at first sight)

Consummate Love: the experience of intimacy, passion, and commitment (good luck!)

Although Sternberg's theory appears to capture the richness and diversity of the love experience, its weakness is that the scales used to measure passion, intimacy, and commitment don't appear to measure distinct, independent components (Hendrick & Hendrick, 1989).
Until this measurement problem is corrected, we cannot confidently assess how useful this theory is in helping us better understand the various love types. "Social Psychology", Stephen L. Franzoi, Chapter 9, Intimate relationships, page 364, Marquette University, 1996.

"Infatuation is when you think he's as sexy as Robert Redford, as smart as Henry Kissenger, as noble as Ralph Nader, as funny as Woody Allen, and as athletic as Jimmy Connors.

Love is when you realize that he's as sexy as Woody Allen, as smart as Jimmy Connors, as funny as Ralph Nader, as athletic as Henry Kissenger, and nothing like Robert Redford in any category-but you'll take him anyway." (quoted by Hatfield & Rapson, 1993, Social Psychology, Stephen Franzoi)

Related Articles: Venus, Mars and Resource-fullness, Venus, Uranus, and sexual/relationship perspectives , Venus as the Mind/Matter Mirror

Copyright © 2010 Altair Publications
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED--SAN 299-5603